©Copyright GC Basson 2024
Only the sets indicated are needed. Otherwise, the players – and audience – must use their imagination
Characters:
The Veldt family: Detective Captain Veldt , Mrs. Veldt (Both middle-aged) Rienie (16 years) and Borrie (12-14 years)
Tjalie Mossert ( 17 years old , tall with long unkempt hair. Wears three-quarter shorts and torn T-shirt. Old sandals.
Lennie Beyers ( Borrie’s friend )
Clive Steward ( villain of the story, English snob)
SCENE 1
Early evening. Set table. Mrs. Veldt, Rienie and Borrie eating. Chair of Capt. Veldt empty, stands slightly away from the table. His napkin lies next to untouched dinner.
Mrs. Veldt (cynical):
Murder and Robbery must be going bankrupt, seems you father’s the only detective left. Or he’s the only one with a phone.
Rienie:
Or he’s cheating on Mom with forensic.
Mrs. Veldt (wryly):
Please tell me not the whole of forensic.
Borrie:
Or Sergeant Goggles slipped up again and Dad has to save him.
Rienie:
Hey, Kobus can’t help he’s near-sighted. He’s been there for Dad on many cases. He’s not a pain in the dinges like you.
Mrs. Veldt:
Rienie, please, don’t you and Borrie start with me today. Who called?
Capt. Veldt enters. Busy with his phone.
Capt. Veldt:
Can you save my food? I’m on a case, sorry. Problem at the Beyers house.
Borrie:
At Lennie’s? What case could –
Capt. Veldt (types into his phone):
Lennie’s been kidnapped. He called his dad.
Borrie (shocked):
Nooooo! Who the hell would -?
Mrs. Veldt (does not tolerate swearing):
Not under this roof, Borrie. Who would do such a thing?
Rienie:
It’s probably a stupid joke. Are you in on it?
Borrie:
Why am I always the party under suspicion?
Rienie:
The party under suspicion. You do know children don’t talk like that.
Borrie:
Are you calling me a children?
Mrs. Veldt (under her breath):
Why didn’t I take the Pill?
Capt. Veldt (wryly, done with his cell phone):
Why didn’t I help you? Lennie’s dad received a ransom note. It was placed left in the mailbox in such a way someone just had to see it.
Rienie:
The Beyers have a working mailbox?
Mrs. Veldt:
Oh no, the poor people! Who would do such a thing? How much do they want?
Capt. Veldt:
Not a clue, I’ll tell you when I get back.
Mrs. Veldt:
Maybe they’re not after ransom, maybe it’s something else. My mom used to say dust doesn’t just lie where you can see it.
Borrie steps to edge of the stage, speaks confidentially to the audience. In background, the conversation between Capt. Veldt and Mrs. Veldt and Rienie continue unheard.
Borrie:
Maybe my sister is right, happens about once a year. Lennie likes his jokes, but this can’t be a criminal offence. His father is the founder of the Grendel Bank. The Beyers don’t work for a living. Lennie’s X-box has an X-box, I swear.
He rejoins the conversation.
Rienie:
Is Kobus going to help Pa with the case?
Borrie rolls his eyes.
Capt. Veldt: Wag-wag, give me a chance to get there, please. I only know what you know.
Mrs. Veldt:
Foei tog, the Beyers have money. They are not going to get that boy back for free.
Rienie:
Maybe they don’t want him back.
Capt. Veldt:
Thanks for your insight, Rienie.
Rienie:
I’m just saying, he’s like Borrie, once you know him you don’t want to.
Borrie:
Hey.
Mrs. Veldt:
Rien, you’re not always as funny as you think.
Borrie (to the audience, as if to explain):
She’s sixteen.
Capt. Veldt:
Just remember one thing – especially you, Borrie. We don’t talk to anyone about this. If there is a kidnapper or kidnappers involved…they may not know the police already know. It could be dangerous for Lennie –
Borrie (dramatic):
My friend’s life is at stake. I shall be vigilant.
Rienie rolls her eyes.
Capt. Veldt nods wryly, kisses Mrs. Veldt on the cheek and exits.
Rienie (to Borrie):
Do you even know what vigilant means?
Borrie:
I don’t read romantic stories, I read books.
Mrs. Veldt:
Don’t. Both of you. There’s a father and a mother who won’t sleep tonight. Their child’s bed is empty.
Borrie and Rienie look guilty. Lights down. Black Cat’s theme music up.
SCENE 2
Lights on, music out. Borrie in front of a full length mirror, wearing his Black Cat outfit, still without his mask. On his belt is his catapult, a hunting knife in a sheath, small flashlight and a coil of rope. He speaks to the audience:
Black Cat (dramatic):
Meet the fearless, the brilliant Black Cat. I mean, meet him again. You’ve already seen him on teevee. Lennie Beyers has been kidnapped, and who knows Lennie better than this masked wonder? We’ve drunk from the same cold-drink bottle without even wiping it. Tonight it’s the Black Cat’s duty – solemn duty – to rescue Lennie from the clutches of a kidnapper or kidnappers! (closer to the audience): Orright, I don’t really know him that well. You know how it is, today we play Xbox together, tomorrow I’ve got something else to do. (He pulls the mask over his head): But he is in my life. Fear not, Lennie: The Black Cat will save you!
He swings around dramatically, lights down and theme music up.
I wish we had Darth Vader’s music. It’s sooo cool on Fortnite.
SCENE 3
Stage dimly lit at first. The prowling Black Cat is visible to the audience. Then: bright lights suddenly off, and he ducks, doesn’t want to be seen.
Black Cat:
Eina…definitely no loadshedding at the Beyers house or is it a castle? Dad and old Goggles are probably here. (Mocking Rienie) Kobus, my heart…he’s not a bad detective but there’s something not right with him, I mean, check his rotten taste in girls. (Adjusts his tights) Rienie better start wearing a bigger size pantyhose, my circulation is going to dry up. (Reacts to something over at the Beyers house) Wag ‘n bietjie! That’s mos…definitely, for sure, that’s Tjalie Mossert…hmm, interesting, you’re up late, Tjalie. Why? (He speaks to the audience) Spoiler alert! Tjalie is kind of a gardener-handyman, does jobs for the rich around here…shame, he’s never going to pass an IQ test, but he’s brilliant with his hands. (Reacts to unseen Tjalie, whispers) Tjalie, what are you looking at? What are you doing here? You can’t mow the lawn in the dark, pal. (To the audience, still whispering)
Wag ‘n bietjie! jalie sneaking around in the dark, spying on a fancy house…is this a criminal offense in the making? Does Tjalie know something about Lennie’s problem? (Swings his cape/towel back dramatically back, leans closer to audience) Sit back and watch: The Black Cat is on the case!
Tjalie enters background, anxious, keeps looking back at the Beyers house. He hears something, freezes, looks around suspiciously. Black Cat hits the deck. Tjalie pricks his ears but hears and sees nothing, exits.
Black Cat (to audience, a conspirator):
Between you and me and the Beyers house, the Black Cat better find out what is bothering Tjalie in the dark. Tah-dah! Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the famous Black Cat Walk!
With pointed toes and arms away from his body, he starts the Black Cat walk and exits after Tjalie. Lights down, tense music up.
SCENE 4
Suggest a scrap yard. Tjalie sits by a little pump-stove with a nice new kettle on it. Bright lantern near him. He’s mixing coffee grounds and water like toffee in a glass mug, “raps” Hansie Slim while he’s at it…forgets the words and ridiculously ads lib his own. The Black Cat enter behind him, sneaks closer, stumbles clumsily and painfully over invisible objects.
Black Cat (whispers indignantly to audience):
Hey, don’t laugh at me, there’s scrap in a scrapyard, orright? Tjalie squats here, in that broken old bus.(reacts to fresh tear in his pantyhose tights) Eina, my sister’s going to think we have a rat with a taste for pantyhose. At least I’m still in one piece…and Tjalie is either deaf or he thinks rats and cats are playing gladiator games in the scrap… his mistake, bigger than big mistake. (Dramatically takes the catapult from his belt) Voila aka check it out, with his trusty chain the Black Cat is about to make the suspect spill the beans!
He sneaks up behind Tjalie, catapult ready. Tjalie is just finishing his version of Hansie Slim when the Black Cat presses the catapult handle against Tjalie’s neck)
Black Cat (attempts deep, rough voice): Move an eyelid, just one, please, I’d love to blow your head off!
Tjalie (shocked, scared): Oh…flood! Ag, nee, man, I knew I had to go pee.
Black Cat:
And if you don’t speak the truth, only a wet patch of you will remain.
Tjalie:
I never lie, ask my mother…wag ‘n bietjie, I don’t have a mother…who are you?
He stars turning his head, Black Cat slams the catapult’s handle hard against his neck.
Black Cat:
Freeze! Or this lead pill goes right through your head, Tjalie Mossert!
Tjalie:
I’m not looking I’m not looking what-what do you want to know? I swear, Aunt Anna’s green figs fell off all by themself, I just picked them up before they could vrot, genuine, I don’t even eat figs, I’m not allowed to eat figs, I get little red spots –
Black Cat:
Shut up, puff adder!
Tjalie:
I’m shutting up I’m shutting up!
Black Cat:
Tjalie Mossert, you who cut grass in the Beyers garden near their mailbox, you who wash Lennie’s father’s Lamborghini near their mailbox –
Tjalie:
Issie issie, I just wash his car. Lennie never washes anything, he’s so spoiled –
Black Cat:
Shut up! Who put a ransom note in their mailbox so someone had to see it? Was it you, Tjalie Mossert, was it you?
Tjalie:
The Beyers have a working mailbox?
Black Cat (whispers cruelly in Tjalie’shis ear):
How red is your blood, Tjalie? Would you like to see?
Tjalie (starts to cry):
My kettle was rusted, I wanted to buy a new kettle, was a bargain on a special – (The catapult is pushed even harder against his neck and now Tjalie speaks very fast)The uncle paid me cash, I must put the letter in so it peeks out a little so everyone in the house can see it, that’s all, I swear, I don’t know why all their lights are on tonight, it’s not about the letter, can’t be, I don’t know what’s in it, don’t take my new kettle, please, I’m dying for a lekker hot coffee.
Black Cat:
Who’s the uncle who paid you cash?
Tjalie:
He’s like you sneaking up, genuine, but that was in daylight, he also stuck a rolly against my head I said don’t shoot, please, I’m a retard.
Black Cat (disappointed):
Are you saying you didn’t see his face?
Tjalie (wicked little giggle):
That’s what he thinks…I got eyes in the back of my head when it’s not dark, genuine; I already shaved, I shave my face every morning, and my sideburns and my back where I can reach –
Black Cat (Tjalie wears him out):
Oh I wish I could just shoot you.
Tjalie (triumphant):
I know who the uncle is, on my word, genuine, I checked him out in that shiny piece of scrap over there, it’s my mirror when I shave, was like eyes in the back of my head.
This excites the Black Cat so he forgets his rough voice, grabs Tjalie by the shoulder, shakes him, and this makes Tjalie turn around.
Black Cat:
Who did you see? Tell me tell me, who is it? Is it someone we know?
Tjalie disappointed, expected a dangerous figure behind him.
Tjalie:
Seriously? What is that, pantyhose? Black?
Borrie:
Who paid you the cash? Give me a name!
Tjalie:
What’s wrong with you? Dirty black doesn’t go with white sneakers.
Black Cat:
So now you know all about fashion? Who did you see in the scrap, Tjalie? Tell me!
Tjalie:
It was that Uncle Clive who stays next door to the Beyers… is that a towel?
Black Cat:
Are you talking about Clive Steward? The English snob who speaks like he’s royalty?
Tjalie:
Batman’s cape is not a towel.
Black Cat:
I’m not Batman, I’m the Black Cat, avenger of injustice and criminal offenses.
Tjalie (trying not to laugh):
Uh huh, and they say I’m thick.
Black Cat (seriously to the audience):
Tjalie Mossert served his purpose. The Black Cat’s final task still lies ahead. A surprise awaits Clive Steward tonight, a particularly unpleasant one.
Tjalie:
Are you orright, jong? Who are you talking to?
Lights down and music up, “rap” version of Hansie Slim.
SCENE 5
The Black Cat sneaks up. One sidelight shines off, the outside light of a house. The light shows Black Cat another even bigger tear in a leg of the black pantyhose.
Black Cat (moans as if he’s his sister):
Maaaa, the washing machine eats pantyhose. And if I knew the truth I’d have a stroke. (Seriously to audience) That’s Clive Steward’s outside light. Is this where he holds Lennie Beyers captive? Fear not, Lennie, the Black Cat is about to strike!
(He exits toward the sidelight. The light out. We hear him whisper)
Miracles still happen. If it was a motion detector, the Black Cat and this story would now be history. Can I please have an open window too? Big please?
( Interior light up. He pretends to carefully climb in through a window, whispers)
That’s why insurance is so expensive. Householders are so careless. An open window is an invitation to criminal invasion, Detective Captain Veldt always says. And my father’s a man who knows what he’s talking about.
(He takes out a strong little flashlight, shines it about, still whispering)
Wag ‘n bietjie, this is yellow-wood. This is expensive furniture! And expensive paintings, jislaaik. But not this one, rubbish, Rienie could’ve painted it and she can’t paint her toenails properly.
(He holds his flashlight closer to the paintins, looks foolish)
Oh. Picasso. Why don’t you say so? Bet you it’s a fake. Is it a fake?
(He curiously stretches out his hand, as if to touch the painting, and suddenly there is a loud crash: the painting fell from the wall)
That better be a fake.
Lights down and dangerous music up.
SCENE 6
Light up on a bedroom. Very tense Lennie Beyers lies with one hand cuffed to the headboard of a bed, still wearing school clothes. Next to the bed there’s a bag of chips and an open bottle of soft drink. Clive Steward moves around nervously, revolver in his belt, cell phone open in hand, listening intently: he heard that painting fall. He is dressed in very tasteful British style civvies.
Steward (hoity-toity English):
Could have been the wind, dear boy. Place looks quite expensive but it’s falling apart, I only rented it because it’s the last place they’d come looking for you, right next door. Am I brilliant or am I brilliant?
Lennie (hates Steward):
That wasn’t the wind, idiot.
Steward (lamenting his fate):
I do the brat a favor, get him out of the house for a bit of fresh air, now he hates me – you should thank me, dear Lennie, your father will never ever threaten you with boarding school again, your mom won’t let him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And the cops won’t be back again tonight. They’re looking for you at the bottom of a river or someplace equally tragic.
Lennie (suppressed emotion):
You should have asked for less than ten million, my father won’t pay, he doesn’t think I’m worth that much.
Steward (looks at phone):
Nothing in yet, could simply be the delay. The Cayman Island banks are the safest, but their transfer delays can be murder –
(Light snaps off unexpectedly, he reacts suspiciously)
That’s not supposed to happen. Hello?
(Suddenly the Black Cat’s flashlight shines in Steward’s eyes, blinding him)
What the bloody – !
Black Cat:
Your days are numbered, rogue!
Now something breathtaking has to happen: the flashlight should dance like a laser beam bouncing around, giving us brief flashes of Steward and Black Cat as they wrestle tremendously and ferociously across the dark stage.
Steward:
I’ll break you into small, useless…get away from me! Who is this?
Lennie (scared):
What’s happening? Where are you, Steward! What’s going on?
Black Cat:
Relax, Lennie, it’s me, I’m here.
Steward:
Wait a minute – is this a joke? You sound like a bloody boy!
Black Cat:
You wish, snob! I am the avenger of injustice and you’re on my list!
Lennie:
Borrie? Is that you?
Steward:
He’s insane! Wait – wait – he’s got the gun, he’s got the gun! Duck-duck-duck, he’s got the gun!
Lights up suddenly. Steward kneels on the floor. The Black Cat stands with one hand on the light switch, pointing Steward’s revolver at him with the other hand. Lennie is revealed by the sudden light in an unexpected position: he is busy getting up, taking off the handcuff himself.
Steward (indignantly at Lennie):
What’s wrong with you? Grab the gun! He won’t shoot you!
Black Cat (grimly at Lennie):
I knew something didn’t sound right. You’re handcuffed but he sounds captured.
Lennie:
Borrie? You sound like Borrie Veldt.
Black Cat (trying to deepen his voice):
And you sound like the spoiled brat you are. He takes half and you take half, was that the deal?
Steward (desperate act):
Who…why…what’s going on? I…I think I’ve been drugged, where am I?
Black Cat:
Ag please, you’re not going to win an Oscar, snob.
Lennie (desperately):
I tell you what, listen, we’re just waiting for the money, it’s going to be paid in any time now, you can get his half, we spin the police a story.
Steward:
Oh, you ungrateful little –
Black Cat:
Shut up!
(Stewart mournfully shuts up. Black Cat talks sadly to his pal Lennie)
Take his phone, Lennie. Call your mom, I think she misses you.
Lennie (sadly):
Who are you?
Black Cat:
I am the Black Cat. I clean up crime. A lady I know says dust isn’t just where you can see it.
Lights down, Black Cat’s theme music up. Curtain.
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